Best-selling author Neil Pasricha may seem to build a simple case for how “awesome” you are, basing his reporting on numerous research studies and expert opinions. He upends the current culture of perfection by stressing the importance of failure. He also tells you to find time to unplug from today’s constant connectivity. In his exuberant, sometimes simplistic way, he challenges you to do the work and take responsibility for your next step in life. You may think you know what lies ahead, but studies show you don’t. This book will give a boost to employees, managers and executives who want to become more resilient and to make sure they’re on the path that works for them.
Sharing a few points from the book which I really found good to share. This summary also includes key lessons and important passages from the book as well as a few of my own thoughts and understanding:
An ellipsis (new challenge) opens up possibilities.
There is magic in doing things simply.
People aren’t focused on you, really.
We take tiny strings of trouble and extrapolate them into huge problems with our entire identities always on the line.
You become more resilient with more experience.
You need to separate yourself from the failure.
When you can move the focus away from yourself, you can continue to learn and grow.
You can’t see the future, but continue moving forward.
See your “failure” as one step on your life-path.
You can look behind you at experiences, like a staircase of steps and actions, but not your next ones.
You have to trust enough to take the next step up the stairs.
Real growth, real evolution…comes from taking what came before and integrating it into a greater whole.
Changing your perspective changes the stories you tell yourself.
Instead of going to the worst-case scenario, “tilt the lens a bit.” It’s not easy to do this, but you can learn.
When refining your focus, consider if you will care about the issue when you’re dying,
We take what’s invisible to others and shine spotlights on it inside our own minds.
Some issues you cannot change. What you can do is change the story that repeats in your head about the issue.
Failing a science test is the fact; failing your parents is the story. Only you can change the stories you tell yourself.
Learn from your losses, and celebrate your growth.
Losing can hurt, but it means you’re moving forward.
You may fail, but on the way you’ll be learning and creating stronger resilience muscles.
“Do what you love.” only if you love it enough to deal with the frustrations and work involved.
To strengthen your resilience, expose yourself to new experiences where you might not feel comfortable.
Moving through failures is the real success.
It’s also important to give yourself credit for your failures. Instead of hiding them, realize what they taught you.
Failure humanizes people.
You will trust someone more if you know his failures.
Create a way to externalize your concerns.
Spend two-minutes every morning writing down your specific responses to three prompts: what you will let go of, what you are grateful for and what you will focus on today. This will help you heal you and can dissipate your anxieties.
In our loud and chaotic world we need a place to let our thoughts clarify, congeal and then fall right out of us.
Beginning your day with positivity provides significant increases in productivity, sales and creativity.
Another study showed that writing down five specific things you’re grateful for each week makes you happier and healthier within 10 weeks.
Focus on your plan for what you will accomplish that day. This cuts down on “decision fatigue” due to energy used by the complex, decision-making part of the brain.
Don’t fight with the pack, find your own way.
Regardless of age, socioeconomic background, nationality, or cultural upbringing, when you’re in a small pond, your opinion of yourself…goes up.
The goal is to give yourself a chance to grow in a more nurturing environment.
Productivity can impede obtaining your goals.In The Happiness Equation, Pasricha splits a 168-hour week into three buckets. One 56-hour bucket is for work, one for sleep and one for fun. The first two enable the third.
The sanctity of the time allows to concentrate more deeply on his work.
We have to learn to turn down the noise and find little ponds of tranquility…to help us reflect and make sure we’re going the right way.
Believe in your choices and move forward.
The core ingredient to resilience is always continuing to move forward.
Try to keep decisions simple.
If someone doesn’t understand what you’re saying, change how you’re explaining it. It’s your responsibility to have them understand you, not the other way around. That is the crux of empathy.